Hope, arise.

The urge. It's always there. To write, that is. It hits at any given moment and like vomit you scurry for a place to expel what must come forth. In the midst of my day I catch a glimpse of a God whom, when searching, shows himself.

These past few weeks (more like months) have been very humbling. Not only is our toilets not working, (one doesn't flush at all and the other flushes but takes 3-4 days for everything to go down with excessive plunging) we are not allowed to do anything to fix them. Which, unfortunately, results in us having to go up to Tomb Thumb every time we need to use the restroom. Without going into too much detail of what we are going through, I will say, satan is attacking and most days we have been left hopeless.

  We have been so preoccupied with this specific trial, little time has been put into eating properly and by properly I mean, we have not been eating at all. So, In the middle of Josh showering and me venting to Josh and God how I am just hungry, and too tired to make anything, hope arose. A knock at the door was in fact the start of our hope. Josh jumps out of shower putting on clothes; we both thought it to be our landlord. We open the door and there stands a man and a woman with bags in their hands. They proceeded to say hello and asked us if we would like 'supper'. Every part of me wanted to say no, I mean, we are more the finically able to provide for ourselves–shouldn't someone else who needs it be more deserving? Before I knew it, 'yes' was coming out of my mouth and two hands, that didn't feel like my own, were receiving a bag of prepared food. In the moment I felt like time stood still, I was just taken aback at how, for a second, I could feel and know that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted. After thanking God's servants, shutting the door, and walking to the kitchen, we began to prepare the meal (which in this case was only grabbing forks). Taking our place in the living room, Josh on the edge of the couch, me in the rocking chair, we begin to eat in silence. Our thoughts were the same, words wouldn't give due justice, so silence remained. There too was a large dinner roll in the bag, I took it out and before realizing it, I broke it in two and handed half to Josh. He wept. Could it be, were we really witnessing the heart of Jesus?

And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:19

Josh returned to his shower. I cleaned up. But before throwing away the bag there remained a piece of paper in it that read: 

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalms 37:4

There’s my cue; I wept. It meant everything to me. Psalms 37 has been our hearts cry during this whole process and the fact that God used it to give us hope was far from what we ever expected. What a great God we serve. 

I walk away from this computer screen a new person having been washed with the word of truth. If you are reading this and are going through trials of persecution, read this Psalm (37) and let it wash you too. 

Fret not yourself because of evildoers;

be not envious of wrongdoers!

For they will soon fade like the grass

and wither like the green herb.

Trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him, and he will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,

over the man who carries out evil devices!

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!

Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

For the evildoers shall be cut off,

but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

In just a little while, the wicked will be no more;

though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.

But the meek shall inherit the land

and delight themselves in abundant peace.

The wicked plots against the righteous

and gnashes his teeth at him,

but the Lord laughs at the wicked,

for he sees that his day is coming.

The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows

to bring down the poor and needy,

to slay those whose way is upright;

their sword shall enter their own heart,

and their bows shall be broken.

Better is the little that the righteous has

than the abundance of many wicked.

For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,

but the Lord upholds the righteous.

The Lord knows the days of the blameless,

and their heritage will remain forever;

they are not put to shame in evil times;

in the days of famine they have abundance.

But the wicked will perish;

the enemies of the Lord are like the glory of the pastures;

they vanish—like smoke they vanish away.

The wicked borrows but does not pay back,

but the righteous is generous and gives;

for those blessed by the Lord shall inherit the land,

but those cursed by him shall be cut off.

The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

when he delights in his way;

though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,

for the Lord upholds his hand.

I have been young, and now am old,

yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken

or his children begging for bread.

He is ever lending generously,

and his children become a blessing.

turn away from evil and do good;

so shall you dwell forever.

For the Lord loves justice;

he will not forsake his saints.

They are preserved forever,

but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.

The righteous shall inherit the land

and dwell upon it forever.

The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom,

and his tongue speaks justice.

The law of his God is in his heart;

his steps do not slip.

The wicked watches for the righteous

and seeks to put him to death.

The Lord will not abandon him to his power

or let him be condemned when he is brought to trial.

Wait for the Lord and keep his way,

and he will exalt you to inherit the land;

you will look on when the wicked are cut off.

I have seen a wicked, ruthless man,

spreading himself like a green laurel tree.

But he passed away, and behold, he was no more;

though I sought him, he could not be found.

Mark the blameless and behold the upright,

for there is a future for the man of peace.

But transgressors shall be altogether destroyed;

the future of the wicked shall be cut off.

The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;

he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.

The Lord helps them and delivers them;

he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,

because they take refuge in him.

Love,

                          Lauren Folk